He was born June 16th, 2020. I don't know his name, how much he weighed, nothing.
My son has cut me out of his life, apparently for a number of grievances, but mostly because of who I voted for in the last primary election.
We barely have a relationship with his first two children. And now another one brought into less than ideal circumstances. Born during a time of political and social upheaval. A time of a pandemic.
But there was Another born under less than ideal circumstances, during tax time, His mother on a donkey traveling. And He came to save the world.
So my heart is full of hope for this young one. And though I may not be able to hold him, sing to him, snuggle him, I can pray for him. And that is more important than the rest.
So, the next day it occurred to me to dedicate him to the Lord. I didn't need to be holding him for this. My God is outside of time and circumstances, so I consecrated him to the Lord. No one can stop me from doing that.
And while I do find my thoughts gravitating to this little person, the ache isn't there. Jesus knew how this would be, he knew my heart that grows more tender with each passing year, wouldn't be able to deal with this very well....so He took it for me and I am at peace.
Who knows when the Lord will call me home. I may get pictures of him growing up, I may not. But as long as I breathe, he is close in my heart.