Tuesday, September 22, 2015


I am so enjoying the sights and smells of one of my two favorite seasons!  I love Fall, it is the prelude, mysterious and adorned in radiant color.  Then follows Winter, quiet, serene, crystal cold.  Time to be cozy indoors and contemplative.

I noticed this morning when I blew out my Pumpkin Pie candle that the embers glowed for some time on the wicks, I blew gently and I would've sworn the fire would revive.  But of course, if I blew it out and left it, all would be cold soon.

It got me to thinking of sin like that.  Often times I get rid of it, but it only takes a slight re-visiting before it is ablaze again.  It seems so many battles are fought in the mind before they come to fruition in our lives.  If I take every thought captive, then nothing can get even the slightest grip to grow.  But I don't always do that.  I can rationalize or make excuses and before I know it, I am back, at the foot of the cross asking for forgiveness, mercy and grace....and I always receive it.

Christ is not like us, He does not make me re-hash it, rub it in that He told me so in His Word, He simply sees my repentant heart and forgives and then strengthens me.  The enemy would have me believe that He won't take me back, He won't forgive me that quick, if at all, he tells me I am not worthy of such love.  But I know better, I stake my life on it.

I am so thankful for a Savior who saves again and again.  Saves me from sin, from myself and from others.  When I stumble, He is faithful to catch me, when I knowingly wander, He disciplines and brings me back and loves me.  Everyday grace is what keeps me, I cannot thank Him enough.  My motto is "I'm so glad He knows my heart."  He knows when I am fooling myself, He knows when motives were misunderstood, He knows just how deep that hurt was, and He knows when I have been quick to judge and be unloving.  He comes to me, ministers to me and is all I need.  Yes, Eucharisteo in all things.

Saturday, September 5, 2015


Like so many, my heart broke over this little refugee who lost his life.  And it drew my attention to all these refugees, looking for somewhere to just "be."  All of the clich'ed feelings come into play, gratitude for living in America, gratitude for safety and food and shelter.  But because Christ lives in me it went beyond that.  I was urged to really contemplate this and put myself as best I could imagine, in their shoes. 

I am grieved over the world's response to this whole scenario.  How does the whole world allow Isis and those like them to exist?  How can they be so elusive...I believe if the world united against them, there would be nowhere they could hide.  If such things were in America on the scale they are elsewhere, we might be more inclined to help.

I don't believe politics and God should be blended together.  So I don't see this really in any way as a political issue.  I see it as a God issue.   The Word says that God is love, it says that if we give a cup of water to someone in His name, it is the same as giving it to Him.  So I am praying that America and Canada will rise up and offer floods of compassionate help to these refugees.  Let the Christians and others be moved to do something.  For those of us without the funds to help, you can sign petitions and raise awareness.

Bottom line is, my heart hurts for all these people.  Most people just want to live in peace, this is not too much to ask.  I pray to the Lord that He answer the prayers of His people and intervene.  Meantime, may our hearts remain tender to those struggling just to survive, including those in the womb.

Friday, September 4, 2015

Autumn Thoughts

In the Autumn of my life, things hurt more, bring deeper joy, anger gives way to the command to love my neighbor and understand that He really meant it.  And everyone is my neighbor.

Where I used to be pretty much silent when I watched friends step off precipices that were far too dangerous, now I want to snatch them back from the edge so much that I have found my voice.  I love them and I hate to see them suffer.  At the same time, there is grace, given to me for issues that are obviously harming me.  So hopefully, it is with that same grace that I speak gently, no criticism intended.  Never-the-less, I am finding that it is not well-received.  In the past I would have regretted saying anything, but now I cannot.  I love them, I truly do speak in love, instead of stinging from rejection, it just makes me sad.

I do not know why the Lord seems to make us wait for good things.  Why the 18 years before I met David, my heart, my home, sharer of my soul?  They were lonely, painful.  However, David was very much worth the wait.  I only know when He says wait, I will.  Having gone through my first husband leaving me and all the fallout that happened, I was not going to move until I knew it was of God.  I'm so glad I did.  It's a fairytale love, sometimes a little fractured, lol, but overall, a dream come true.  There will never be another man for me, he touches my heart daily, loves me unconditionally, there is safety and peace in that.  All I would have missed had I hurried the Lord.

Autumn is upon us, my co-favorite with Winter.  There are some challenges to deal with, some health issues, and Josh's release.  But those things feel like footnotes to a season when I am hearing the voice of the One who loves me best.  I can feel His presence daily and it becomes more precious with time.  What an interesting time of life, you're not dead yet, lol, but priorities shift and change with an eye on the finish line.  2 Timothy 4:7 comes to mind often.  Sins become clearer and I can't rush to Him fast enough for forgiveness, ever receiving His loving grace and mercy.

I find my thoughts gravitating to my grandkids more, and their mom.  A sorrow resides in my heart at not being to see them much growing up, and even now, even though our situation is better, it still does not allow us to see them a lot.  Sweet, sweet, gentle little souls that are a delight to be around and we're missing it!!!  All I can do is lay that at the foot of the cross and ask for help to cope with it.  And their mom, we have had a strained relationship in the past, I think it's better now, but again, when you don't see someone, hard for that relationship to deepen and get close.  It hurts my heart that it wasn't able to.

As the days grow shorter, the temps are cooling, I find an abiding peace exists in my heart in spite of all the disappointments and questions and I am thankful.  Eucharisteo.