I put the CD in and am instantly transported back in time. Josh made me this CD and here and there are sprinkled songs for him, not me, lol. Now they are sweet reminders of the fun guy I love so very much. He was sitting at our kitchen table on Molly's laptop burning music for his mom, all in black, as usual, that grin readily crossing his face.
Artistic types are this way, whether they suffer from a mental illness or not, they are moody, or have big mood swings. But on the whole, my boy is, or was, pretty happy. Happiest when with his children. When Josh was little, almost every teacher he had said, "Josh loves life." I promised myself this would not become maudlin, so, i'm just sayin'.
Today i'm remembering the good stuff. Through the years of true trials, even amidst them, there was this spark, this joy that would come across from him and spread. He can make me laugh like no one else, even my brother, lol. As most know, Josh is adopted, but no matter, if I didn't know better, I would definitely believe we share DNA. We share heart DNA.
I remember his period of "psychobilly." He sported a proper pompadoure.
He could spend an hour in the bathroom perfecting his look, rolled up jeans over heavy black boots, rolled up sleeves, and that hair. lol So one day he begged me to go with him to Eureka, CA for a psychobilly concert. No way! I talked to Dave online, he said, "you should go, how many kids ask their moms!" I thought about it, decided he was right, and shocked Josh by saying okay. We set out and talked the whole way, took some pictures of elk and the ocean on the way, it was wonderful. And then we got there, it was in a bar, I didn't know what to expect, but it was unexpectedly inviting. We played pool until the show started. We were there to see Three Bad Jacks. WOW!! I was sold!!! I LOVED the music. And my bold son, went up to the band leader, Elvis Suissa before the show, motioned me to come up, and all the band came over and someone took a picture of all of us! :) I still keep in touch with Elvis a little, really a nice guy, family guy. I play their CD often and think of Josh and that I almost missed that special time with him. All the more appreciated in light of what has transpired.
So, when your children ask you to do something that seems so foreign to you, don't automatically reject the idea, you might miss out on a wonderful new experience, gain a new appreciation for something, and of course, most of all, miss a precious memory to carry with you always. ♥ Pictures to follow: