tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16268040428048215422024-03-04T23:24:20.916-08:00Ponderings On the Waycovenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.comBlogger109125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-37599789201496090592020-11-21T12:21:00.014-08:002020-11-21T12:26:37.817-08:00The View from Here<p> </p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 12pt;">I
have always rushed past beautiful photos of the outdoors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because if I look too long, I become deeply
dissatisfied with what I have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I long to
have a cabin in the woods, looking out over water of some kind...any kind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pine trees and lush ferns in their
shade.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To make bread for my family and
hearty meals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To can things in Summer,
and enjoy the fruits of my labor when cold Winter arrives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To write beautifully and meaningfully, much
like a blog I follow by Emily Gibson.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Short snippets of a life that contributes and testifies to His goodness.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 12pt;"> But
the Lord has placed me where I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
it's not bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love our little home,
albeit a rental and so creativity is sparse, no permanent changes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>White walls<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>throughout, and a HUGE backyard with nothing in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The trees that are there, except for one
little, twisted apple tree, are the ones we planted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An investment for our landlord whenever he
takes this place back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to have
some trees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think in all creation, and
I love it all, trees are my favorite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
most at home around trees.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 12pt;"> Don't
get me wrong, I count my blessings, if not every day, at least every week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there are plenty!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God is good, always.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has never failed me, not once.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is my lack of trust and faith that has put
the wrinkles in my face, not Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 12pt;"> The
thing lately is my dreams.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My son keeps
showing up, and my heart breaks again, and again, and again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someone tell me how for it not to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have turned it all over to the Lord, no
lie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But he's my son, he was my baby
boy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To know the struggle he has put
himself thru is almost more than I can bear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And to have watched him continue down a road that leads to nowhere, or
worse, is only bearable because I know the Waymaker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I trust that at some point, Josh will allow
Him to make a way for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But until
that time, and I doubt i'll live to see it, I only see him in my dreams.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The days when we were happy and he was little
and carefree are gone aside from in my mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I must be careful not to visit there too often, or I will be undone.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">The disappointments of life can eat away at
you, even when you belong to Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again,
that trust thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But i'm not sure how
to navigate waters when I can't see and there's a leak in the boat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fog surrounds me, the water's rising, I need
help and all I hear is silence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But then
I remember,</span><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 12pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">1 Kings 19:11-13. </span></p>
<h1><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>"<sup> </sup>The
<span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> said, “Go out and stand on
the mountain in the presence of the <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>,
for the <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> is about to pass by.”</span></h1>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Then
a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks
before the <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>, but the <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> was not in the wind. After the wind
there was an earthquake, but the <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>
was not in the earthquake. <sup>12 </sup>After the earthquake came a fire,
but the <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> was not in the fire.
And after the fire came a gentle whisper."</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
need to be still and know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trust that at
His timing, all will be well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those
longings in my heart for nature, for nurturing, for music, art, laughter,
fellowship, will all be fulfilled, or replaced with better things that I can't
imagine.</span><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> Is this enough to go on day by day?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because His mercies are new every morning,</span><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC";"> </span><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Lamentations 3:22-23</span>
</p><p class="line"><span class="text"><sup><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC";"><svg height="6.5" viewbox="0 0 11.5 6.5" width="11.5" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"></svg>" </span></sup></span><span class="text"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC";">The steadfast love of
the </span></span><span class="small-caps"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span></span><span class="text"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC";"> never ceases;</span></span><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC";"> <br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text">his
mercies never come to an end;</span><br />
<span class="text"><span id="en-ESV-20378">they are new every morning;</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text">great
is your faithfulness."</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 12pt;">He
is my strength, He is my refuge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was
the God of my ancestors, and He is my God, mighty to save.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I wish to "live my best life" as
they say, it is to live in Him, to be found in Him, to abide in Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am His beloved, He will take care of us.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 12pt;">So,
the view from my window now, with all the little birds at the feeder, the crows
and squirrels and jays that come for peanuts every day....they're<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>fine views, and my heart is grateful.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"> </p>
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<![endif]-->covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-3656682822423232392020-09-13T09:20:00.005-07:002020-09-13T11:00:14.537-07:00Looking Forward<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14pt;">Why,
when children opt for a different, and reckless, path than we, do we say
"we" have failed?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is not
always accurate.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14pt;"> Without
belaboring all that I did for my son, I can say that I always loved him with a
deep passion, I desired good for him with an even deeper one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I made sure he was in church every week, I lived Christianity in front of him to the best of my ability, I
tried not to believe all that appeared regarding him, I filled him up with
nutritious food, kept him clean, made sure his mind was not polluted by the
wrong things on television, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Was I perfect, absolutely not, did I love him more than life, absolutely yes. Did he know it? Absolutely! </span>And
still, the path he chose was as different than any I could've imagined.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was not a good choice for him.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14pt;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14pt;">Now,
before you say, "oh, you're just a mom who wants what she wants and can't
accept that her child has chosen outside of her values," the path he has
taken has resulted in prison time, 3 children with 2 different mothers, neither
of whom were his wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He doesn't have a
wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like many in the current culture,
he meets them and they move in and that's that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Now, 2 of those children are estranged from him, the other adopted by
others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He, now 38, still goes his own
way, and broken all contact with his immediate family.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14pt;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14pt;">I
have spent years weeping, praying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those
days are done for now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I give all to
Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am spent on his behalf.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has lashed out at me, recently over who
I'm going to vote for...not his business.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There comes a time when you must cease looking back, like Lot's wife,
because it only serves to make you soluble and you dissolve into nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Time to look forward, to invest your energy
in those around you whom you love and love you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No more time spent alone in the bedroom in tears, while life is going on
around you.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14pt;"> He
has made his choices, now he will have to live with them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He will always be my son and I will always
love him, but those 2 things just don't matter much anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People that love me are weary from watching
me in pain over this person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So here
Lord, take my son, I pray that one day he will hear Your voice and return to
You.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But please remove the hurt &
pain of being ripped and torn by one I love so, so much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And help me live my life without that cloud.</span></p>
<p> </p>covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-66482410106829286402020-06-20T10:16:00.003-07:002020-06-20T11:49:37.047-07:00Baby Boy, Much Loved
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "tempus sans itc"; font-size: 16pt;">He
was born June 16th, 2020.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't know
his name, how much he weighed, nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "tempus sans itc"; font-size: 16pt;">My
son has cut me out of his life, apparently for a number of grievances, but
mostly because of who I voted for in the last primary election.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "tempus sans itc"; font-size: 16pt;">We
barely have a relationship with his first two children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And now another one brought into less than
ideal circumstances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Born during a time
of political and social upheaval.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A time
of a pandemic.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "tempus sans itc"; font-size: 16pt;">But
there was Another born under less than ideal circumstances, during tax time,
His mother on a donkey traveling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And He
came to save the world.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "tempus sans itc"; font-size: 16pt;">So
my heart is full of hope for this young one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And though I may not be able to hold him, sing to him, snuggle him, I
can pray for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that is more
important than the rest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "tempus sans itc"; font-size: 16pt;">So,
the next day it occurred to me to dedicate him to the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn't need to be holding him for
this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My God is outside of time and
circumstances, so I consecrated him to the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one can stop me from doing that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "tempus sans itc"; font-size: 16pt;">And
while I do find my thoughts gravitating to this little person, the ache isn't
there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus knew how this would be, he
knew my heart that grows more tender with each passing year, wouldn't be able
to deal with this very well....so He took it for me and I am at peace.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "tempus sans itc"; font-size: 16pt;">Who
knows when the Lord will call me home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
may get pictures of him growing up, I may not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But as long as I breathe, he is close in my heart.</span></div>
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<![endif]--><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjZT8l54XXuRZYV-OnJfGxc41-DSZjwKtZ2veak-_tB9uwdOL6fHMBh789XRTCymiE3V04ieTWA31LPBLJE5CsaIM1goBpz5PE3jTnFhTU0qR7gWXZEcsC7K4OH93xn6uvy2rsAsQXKEn8/s1080/baby3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="810" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjZT8l54XXuRZYV-OnJfGxc41-DSZjwKtZ2veak-_tB9uwdOL6fHMBh789XRTCymiE3V04ieTWA31LPBLJE5CsaIM1goBpz5PE3jTnFhTU0qR7gWXZEcsC7K4OH93xn6uvy2rsAsQXKEn8/s320/baby3.jpg" /></a></div>covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-5979409862328084902018-04-25T09:54:00.002-07:002018-04-25T09:54:48.850-07:00Molly<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 16.0pt;">It
was 32 years ago that we drove to Los Angeles Airport to pick up someone very
special.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We sat in the waiting area for
the passengers to come out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lots of
people came off the plane, then our social worker went on the plane and came
back out with our 6-month-old little girl from Korea!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Joan, our social worker, placed her in my
arms, Josh peering over to get a look, lol.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 16.0pt;">I
had no idea that little girl would one day be my best friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Molly came pretty compliant, comes from being
in an orphanage with little attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She was quiet and serene.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her dad
had just got his pilot's license, so the day after we got her, we got in a
Cessna and headed from Oxnard, CA to Grants Pass, OR.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was good the whole way, as was her
brother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was not the best idea, but
I won't go into that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 16.0pt;">She
loved her Auntie Sue and responded to her right away.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Molly
did find her voice and came to realize if she cried, she got what she needed,
lol.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was fun and creative, making
doll clothes from leftover fabric, lace, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She was and is cheerful most of the time, a blessing to those around
her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Without
going into details, Molly & her brother had a really rough time after our
divorce, the effects still being seen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">L</span></span><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But Molly found Jesus when she was little and
has never left.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She clung to Him and He
has seen her through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was a joy growing
up, so very sweet and thoughtful, and those words describe her to this day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 16.0pt;">She
met Will, and I met his dad, what joy!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Now they live closer and we are thrilled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could never have envisioned how things
would be 32 years later, I never would've dreamed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But my little girl, such a HUGE blessing is
still spreading sunshine everywhere she goes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She means more to me than I can say, as most mothers feel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But to have come from so very far away to
land in my heart is a miracle and a gift from God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thinking of her today, of all the years, and
how she looked in her little pink outfit when she arrived.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank You Lord!!!!</span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-18284058003563703042018-04-24T12:00:00.001-07:002018-04-24T12:00:21.399-07:00Josh<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 16.0pt;">The
blinds slap at the window sill, the coolness rushing in on a breezy day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it hits me, how can everything just seem
so normal?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How can I talk with him
casually as though there's nothing wrong?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That his grown man decisions are so wrong, but i'm not allowed to warn
him?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In respecting his autonomy and
adulthood, I let him careen over a cliff in the distance, even if it's at 30
miles an hour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually, he will sail
over the edge, too late.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 16.0pt;">I've
pretty much made peace with all that, I just keep praying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But every so often, like today, when that
breeze tapped me on the shoulder, I want to run to him, to plead with him, to
let him know the building he's living in is on fire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I know he doesn't wanna hear that from
me, so the attempts have ceased.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 16.0pt;">But
here's the thing, once you're a mom, you held him, loved him, suffered with
him, celebrated with him, you just can't sever the tie lickity-split.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>"I asked the LORD to give me this boy,
and he has granted my request." I Samuel 1:27.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have loved him more than I thought
possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And he loved me back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now his love is distant, I believe it's
there, he says so, but hard to tell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
when my mind runs to past viewing of little boy days, the tears just naturally
come.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 16.0pt;">I
don't believe I know anyone with as much God-given talent or potential.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Handsome and funny, full of style and
personality, but I cannot support his lifestyle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is heart-breaking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People, girls especially, left in his wake,
hurting.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 16.0pt;">The
thing is, this heart that is aging and preparing to go home, longs for a few
sweet moments with the boy, the man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
they will not be forthcoming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And this
heart, more than anything, wants to know that he walks with Jesus as he once
did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I probably will not live to know. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could not have lived through the events of
the last few years without my love, my David.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Though we all have made mistakes, his unwavering support and love,
holding me when I am distraught, etc., helps me stay sane in it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 16.0pt;">And
Jesus, always Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The wakings in the
night, the fear that can grip my heart when there's a phone call later than
usual, the wondering, the grieving, He holds me through it all and sustains me.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 16.0pt;">So
on this blustery day in April, about a week after he turned 36, I once allow
myself to feel the grief, the missing and I pray, and I weep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-26376885443326284802017-11-14T10:01:00.001-08:002017-11-14T10:01:50.754-08:00Priorites<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">It
is 9:39, Tuesday morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have had
breakfast, played with the dogs and meted out daily medicines into their little
Monday, Tuesday, etc. boxes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am
finding at 63 I am wont to stay in bed a little longer in the morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only problem with that is, there's less
morning to get things done, which is my best work time.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I'm
also finding at 63, I really don't care for housework anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This surprises me, because a short 3-1/2
years ago, I was so thrilled to have this rental house (and I still am!), it
was a joy to clean.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So it is not a
waning interest in what God so graciously gave us, I just don't wanna
clean.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">My
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</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Problem
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">For
today I have the blessings of dogs playing, candle lit, hot coffee and me at my
computer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But at the bottom of the
coffee cup, there are floors to clean, furniture to dust, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And in it all, to seek the heart of God and
learn more of Him.</span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-72093994443462384612017-01-20T11:50:00.001-08:002017-01-20T11:50:18.395-08:00Sick Days<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-21486420792411919532016-12-19T11:56:00.002-08:002016-12-19T11:56:44.676-08:00Advent 2016<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">In
celebrating Advent and reflecting on all that Christmas means, I was struck
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died and rose again even if I was the only person alive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But this morning it came to me, He would also
have been born had I been the only other one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He was born for me, as He died for me.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Ever
amazed at thinking about how almighty God was crammed into a tiny baby and
ultimately a grown man, knowing He would do all that for me is as staggering as
the cross.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In Hebrews 4:15, it tells us
He was tempted as we are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Isaiah 53:3,
that He was familiar with pain and grief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He was born for it...for me, for every one of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For leaders in the world, for Olympic
champions, for addicts who can't get a handle on their addiction, for the down
and out, for the wealthy, for the good, for the bad...for all of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is familiar with the pains that can fill
our hearts.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">But
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reality, it could only happen super-naturally.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">The
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</span>We are the reason He came.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
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God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the baby we celebrate.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Once
again, it's Christmas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Time to realize
all He is and worship.</span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-41851575083540651822016-10-06T13:23:00.002-07:002016-10-06T13:23:32.210-07:00Seasons<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
look out my window and my soul feasts on the color of changing leaves, vibrant
in their new Fall brilliance, the apples that litter the circumference of our
apple tree, little balls of nutrients for the squirrels and birds that frequent
our back yard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is my favorite time
of year, and this particular year is interesting to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At 62, I didn't think much would be changing
in my world, yet I did enjoy Summer and that is a revelation, a paradigm shift.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was told that the past Summers here were
unusually hot, and this past Summer was the norm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has been alluring in its beauty, drawing
me outside every morning for devotions midst the starting of the day, not yet too
warm, gentle breezes blowing, birds greeting the day in song.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sitting outside with my love, conversations
held watching the world go by on our little neighborhood street as he tends the
grill, which gets a workout every Summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>All in all, I am a convert and have to say that some sadness rose up in
me for its passing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">But
then that little something in the coolness of the breeze, that hint of the
coming of Winter....but not quite yet, grabbed my heart and I remembered that
Fall feels most familiar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Favorite
colors, favorite soups, favorite clothes, how good it feels to come in out of
the cold, yes, Fall is my favorite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ask
me in Winter, and I might say Winter is my favorite...or Spring...and now,
perhaps Summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I do believe in my
heart of hearts, that Fall will always be that time when my soul feels most
fed, most at peace.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
hopefully have many years left, but I do feel the need to appreciate each
season, because how many are left I don't know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So as the candle holder sparkles its design on the wall through an
Autumn sun, I appreciate each nuance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Each day with Renaissance Man, cherished, thankful to a God who so
lovingly granted 18 years' worth of prayers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Time moves on, through the seasons, and I move with them, both of us
silently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I worry that I haven't done
enough, and I haven't, either through inability because of finances or fear,
but I am confident that when I get "Home," none of that will matter.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Right
now, it is enough to have this unique, amazing man, my husband (how I love that
word, "husband"), our sweet kids and our family and friends, our
sweet, sweet little pup and see what each day brings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thing is not to miss the moments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be present as they say, and I am, and through
un-telling eyes, I marvel at the gifts He gives with every sunrise.</span><span lang="KO" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: KO; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">♥</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-language: KO;"></span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-38876266359415118742016-07-02T11:11:00.001-07:002016-07-02T11:11:27.757-07:00Seasons<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
am always carried away by scenes of hay-baling, chickens pecking the ground,
big pots aboil on the stove, and other scenes of domestic bliss.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realize that it is hard work this, and I
wouldn't like it much most likely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I
do remember working hard in Summer at this or that around our little tract
house as a kid and how good it felt it to finally sit and rest in the shade
with a glass of ice cold lemonade or tea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There is a satisfaction achieved that can be found nowhere else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still work around my home, doing daily
chores, but nothing too strenuous or physically demanding....and good thing,
because i'm no Spring chicken anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
find true wisdom in knowing my limitations.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">But
Summer's here and while I generally abhor the season, this year is
different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps because I sense the
ones left are numbered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hopefully many,
many more, but one never knows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I
watch as my love mows the lawns, back and forth, back and forth....key word
being "watch."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>;)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I open up windows all through the house as
the heat of the day gives way to the coolness of evening, and then close it all
back up when the sun lets me know it's time in the morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But this year, the grievance is gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm no longer mad at Summer, bringing such
horrid heat that it takes my breath away when I step outside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am actually enjoying it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My pup lays out in the heat of the sun on the
hot concrete absorbing the warmth into her little bones, ultimately returning,
tongue hanging out and many laps at the water dish, to retire atop the orange
chair by the air-conditioner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>:)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">The
seasons change, people we love come and go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It has been a battle hard fought, and I'm not there yet, but i'm closer,
at releasing my loved ones totally into His hands and trusting that I will see
them again one day in Heaven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is
hard for us moms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When it comes to our
kids, we can leave nothing to chance, until I realize I would be robbing them
of their intimacy with the God that loves them fiercely, perfectly, more than I
do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I will proceed with the changing
seasons, appreciate each one for what it offers and hold my little goslings up
in prayer, trusting, hoping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
Corinthians in my bones for these souls that are bound with mine.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And
all the while, the learning, the pondering, the perplexing, the loving, there
is this man by my side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He does not
always understand me, he gets it wrong sometimes, so do I, but he's there, he
doesn't leave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when I call out to
him, he comes, every time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suppose
that it's true, you don't really know your marital mettle until hard times hit,
whatever that entails.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They've hit, he
stands firm, loves me faithfully, tries to help me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have hurt each other, but come out the
other side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The hurting was never
intentional and apologized for with our hearts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
am still learning that no one is perfect but One.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And He is the covering for us all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What safety there is in that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Romans 8:28 is the bottom line for
everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even when human will gets in
the way, He will use it for good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">So
as July 4th approaches, I am hoping to celebrate in fine American fashion,
BBQ'ing in the driveway and pulling up chairs and a cooler to watch the
fireworks from our front yard, grateful for my loved ones, those present, those
not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Always knowing that in every season
God is still in control and loves us beyond measure.</span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-71565789496154333592016-05-09T12:22:00.002-07:002016-05-09T12:22:40.881-07:00Thoughts<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">When
everything goes dim and muddy, how do you find your way out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Things may never become clear and crystal,
you may have to crawl your way over the finish line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other writers extol the virtues of never
giving up on one's prodigal, while yours is in the next room, not okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I fear I may not live to see him be okay, so
maybe he won't ever be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that one
fact can steal every future joy and hope away from my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe he came to know God, but i'm not
seeing any fruit, any evidence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I do
see some changes and that might be a seed for hope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even if I never see it grow to fruition.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">There
are writers who get to glean wonderful things from their lives and share it
eloquently and succinctly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I
tend to write like I feel...confused, muddled, bewildered at times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And my process is to talk it out, or write it
out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Therefore I become wordy and
unclear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All I know to do is write from
my heart, get it out, look at it, or hear it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Things
have transpired between my prodigal and I that have wounded us both, wounds we
won't ever forget most likely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How does
that make the Father's heart feel I wonder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What does He think of these two wounded people, crippled in their own
ways, who can't believe enough in Him to put things aside, put Him first and
get on with healing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone who knows
me knows how I love this kid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That
there's a soft spot for him in my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When others would be done, or at the least turn away, I open my
figurative arms and take him in, yet again.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Nothing
I can say can keep me from sounding like a mom with blinders on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like I don't see the things that others see.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like I have this Pollyanna view of him that
turns every frown upside down in some wierd "Joker" style
vision.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not true, I see, I know, but my
love for him is deep and wide, and forgiving and constant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some say I enable, i'm not sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does my Father enable me when He still loves
me and reaches down to pick me up yet again?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">All
that said, this child, my child, is a man now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He has a man's decisions to make.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And I am finding it more and more feeling right to release my opinions
and judgments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He needs to make his way
kind of on his own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My years are
numbered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bad health choices are taking
their toll, every day is a gift, whether I have one more day left, or 20 more
years, all by the grace of a loving God.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">The
one thing too, that this man doesn't realize is that there's a whole clan of
cheerleaders rooting him on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sad that he
sees them as critics and judges.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">This
really didn't start out to be about him, but unless I know that he is following
Christ with his whole heart, the unrest will not leave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I fear that life will simply be a series of
letting go, giving him to God over and over until I am Home.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">It's
just life at the moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The realization
you have at a certain age that many dreams will never come true, the ugly truth
about certain choices you've made and consequences you cannot avoid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All that said, there are other truths.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The joy that both children give, and
grandchildren.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The love that you feel in
the circle of your family...blood and not blood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the most precious, mysterious, blissful
blessing of this man, this union that is so powerful, the love in it is
unutterable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The blessings of waking
every single day, hearing the birds sing, enjoying every average day for what
it is, a gift.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing is guaranteed but
Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And in this muddled, misty
space, Christ is over all and when I'm in His presence, I know everything will
be alright...in Him.</span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-13840167624322925492016-04-26T13:46:00.001-07:002016-04-26T13:46:38.480-07:00Surrender<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">The
pull and push of every day events can sometimes make me feel as if i'm being
pulled apart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This morning I
decided.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I decided that I would just
draw close to the One who knows me best and just rest there for a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not for an hour, a day, but for some time to
come....perhaps forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have too
many personalities in our home these days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It seems someone is not happy about something every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not an angry, fighting unhappiness, just a
quiet, disgruntled unhappiness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And me,
wife and mother and grandma, wants to fix it all, knowing in my heart that I
can't.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So this morning, when used as a
sounding board yet again, and perceived as a stone-thrower, I just
decided.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will rest my soul in the
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in, while I love and serve and do my best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He will tell me that is enough and give me rest.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Something
shifted inside me this morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It does
no good for me to attempt to explain to those that either won't understand, or
won't accept what i'm saying, so why say it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I love all concerned and i'll just continue with that in the forefront
of my mind and my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In a sense it's
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</span>I love my family, I want the best for my family and i'm doing what I
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</span>It is no longer up for debate, i'm just gonna be looking up as best I
can from here into eternity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is no
darkness in Him, He is safe, always, all the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will simply fall into Jesus and operate
from there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I surrender all.</span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-71113322245887209432016-03-01T13:39:00.001-08:002016-03-01T13:43:54.612-08:00Grace & Mercy<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon
grace.~John 1:16</span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His
compassions never fail. <span class="highl">They are new every morning; Great is
Your faithfulness.~Lamentations 3:22-23</span></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="tab-stops: 169.5pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">What
an unfathomable thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Grace upon grace
& new mercies every morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
human mind cannot wrap around these things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Pastor said Sunday, be a blessing, even if people are mean and don't
understand you, spitefully use you, be a blessing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sounds beautiful and lofty, but try to apply
it in the heat of battle and I seldom attain it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The little growth I see is that at least I
usually don't retaliate, I withdraw and stay silent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Steps in the right direction, but I
definitely need to go further and try and be a blessing.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">How can I not,
when I receive His grace and mercy so freely given?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone has situations in their lives where
they are misunderstood, motives are suspect when they shouldn't be, the
Christian who has mastered mercy and grace has one foot in Heaven I believe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They "get it" and are in tune with
the Savior they serve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are simply so
geared for tit for tat that Jesus' teachings fall by the wayside as archaic, or
not practical in the "real world," when the real world is not what we
see with our eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the Real World,
forgiveness, mercy & grace reign supreme....almost, if I have everything,
all these, but have not love I have nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So it is that love reigns supreme, and love.....well<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.....</i></b></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"> <span class="text"> </span></span></sup></i></b><span class="text"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Love
suffers long <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">and</span> is kind; love
does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; <sup>5 </sup>does
not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; <sup>6 </sup>does
not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; <sup>7 </sup>bears all
things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.</span></i></b></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span class="text">Love never fails. But
whether <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">there are</span> prophecies,
they will fail; whether <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">there are</span>
tongues, they will cease; whether <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">there
is</span> knowledge, it will vanish away. <sup> </sup> ~ I Corinthians
13:1-10</span></span></i></b><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span class="text"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></sup></i></b></span><span class="text"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And now
abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">is</span> love.~ I Corinthians 13:13</span></i></b></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I am coming to Him almost daily, asking for Him to
help me to act reflecting Him, and that is reflecting love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I John 4:8.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, I am striving to not act or react out of my hurt feelings or pride,
but rather out of love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know a few
people that do this all the time......Sue Hayworth, you know who you are!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I definitely do not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">But that is the beauty of the Holy Spirit, He
changes us really without our help, simply a willing spirit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I have hope that as time goes on,
decisions, reflections, ponderings will be tinged with His love, not judgment
or negativity. As I spend time in His Word and in prayer change can come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am thankful to have people in my life that
love me "as is," and in the meantime, patience must be had......not
so easy for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>;)</span></span><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-14874768889854627722016-01-15T13:09:00.001-08:002016-01-15T13:15:41.058-08:00He is Faithful<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">3</span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC";"> <span class="verse-3">God,
your God, will restore everything you lost; he'll have compassion on you; he'll
come back and pick up the pieces from all the places where you were scattered.
~ Deuteronomy 30:3</span></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">This
is what it feels like at my house today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Last night 3 of our 4 kids were with us, pizza, laughter and a healing
begun in a relationship broken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And this
time....this time....all know and serve the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a mom, nothing else is better in the whole
world, and to get to share it with my husband, and that's a sacred word to me,
"husband", it was simply Heaven on earth to me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">We hardly ever get to see Molly & Will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Such sweet and generous kids, love them so much.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">It
can't always be about Josh, but this is still so new to me, this new man,
witnessing changes only the Living God can bring about, is astounding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our home filled with love and peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Obviously, there is adjusting going on, but I
think we're doing pretty well.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can look back over my life and realize very
astutely that the Lord has been with me every step, though it didn't feel like
it often times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Never the less, He was,
watching over me, caring for me, at times when I didn't care much for myself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And
then the boy being locked up for 4 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For most of that time I just couldn't wholly face it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I pushed it way down to keep from thinking
about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I loved him so much that the
thought of what he could be dealing with was too much for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And again, the Lord sustained.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when we picked him up in the cold, damp of
early morning, it was as though the dam burst and the last 4 years of pain
flowed out and was replaced with some of the purest joy i've ever experienced.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And
Dave, my beloved, my heart, sharer of my essence, I cannot believe every day
how blessed I am to be married to him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That is not to say that every day is blissful and exciting and perfect, lol,
but it is to say that the deep love and affection I feel for him is fresh every
day and I remember the lonely, dark days and am filled with excitement and
gratitude anew.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He loves me truly, takes
care of me in the sweetest ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I
like to say, I am terminally smitten, I cherish him every single day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">So
right now, this very minute, this very day, my heart is full to
overflowing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is as good as it gets
down here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think of single friends who
would like to marry and feel their pain, those suffering with cancer and my
heart breaks for them, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not
oblivious to the heartache around me and I empathize.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I say thank You to the One who is
Everything for this season, and pray on behalf of those I care about.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Pinching
myself.</span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-10192372696790138972016-01-05T13:09:00.001-08:002016-01-05T13:10:00.383-08:00A New Life<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">So
here I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There's a miracle walking
around my house every day and I can hardly believe it sometimes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ups and downs, many more downs, his own
personal 4-year long ordeal, and here's this man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Looks just like Josh. ;)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But gone is the anger, the entitlement
attitude, the ungratefulness and so much more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Here stands a man transformed by the Spirit of the Living God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People rarely change, they can if they work
really, really hard, but what they don't have is that sweet spirit that only
the Lord can give us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I see it in my
son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is considerate, thankful to us
and God, helpful around here, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
could go on and on about how he's changed and the things he does, but my point
in this is the power of God to bring change and give peace, not as the world
gives.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">There
is a sweetness to Josh now that was not there before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God, in His mighty love, either brings us to
where we realize our need for salvation, or uses what we've done to ourselves
or our circumstances to do that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As my
Pastor said, He's chasing us because He wants to bless us and we run from
Him!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So true for us all until we
surrender to that big love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
don't really wanna make this an ode to Josh, but I wasn't there to watch the
change, I only saw before and after, and I can tell you that "after" is
remarkably different than "before."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And as his mom, the greatest thing for me in it all, is to know that
deep in his heart, he now has peace and that we will be together in
Heaven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I get older, I have come to
realize that eternity is what life is all about, as paradoxical as that
sounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, part of my days right now are spent
gratefully in conversation and sharing with my re-born son.</span><span lang="KO" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: KO; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">♥</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-language: KO;"></span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-82157756129600376072015-11-18T09:38:00.002-08:002015-11-18T09:41:51.275-08:00November 13, 2015<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "tempus sans itc"; font-size: 14.0pt;">November
13, 2015.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will never forget that day,
ever,ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We got to Columbia River
Correctional Institution about 6:35 in the morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still dark, still quiet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We could see movement in the building.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rain had covered everything, but I found
a dry spot on the outside bench and sat down by the gate where he would come
out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dave paced as he does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One other man was there to pick up his
person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We exchanged pleasantries, but
then all fell silent again and my eyes were glued to the building.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Four years of being forcibly separated, four
years of struggle, unfathomable agony on both our parts was about to come to a
close.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally, after what seemed
forever, I saw him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had chosen a set
of sweats to exit with and he stuck out from all the rest, I knew it was my
boy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They walked slowly, the gate opened
and there he was, we hugged and hugged and I could not control my sobbing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was able, I let go and we turned to
walk to the car, the man waiting for his person said, "There's no love
like a mother's love."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I so
appreciated that my love for him showed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because he couldn't come into Washington and return to Oregon, we just stayed
in Oregon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He changed into the clothes
we brought him in the car, lol, then went to McDonald's, his first time in 4
years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then into Portland for some new
Doc Marten's.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew I wanted to get him
some, they are signature Josh, lol, so that was our contribution.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His sister and her husband helped, as have
friends to at least have him a couple sets of clothes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "tempus sans itc"; font-size: 14.0pt;">For
the first time in 4 years, my dream had come true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Occasionally as I had gone to sleep during
these 4 years, my mind would play every horrific scene from prison
documentaries, or movies I had seen and it was too much, I learned to go
immediately into prayer and trust God for his safety.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, that night, November 13, 2015, he was
asleep, safe and sound across the hallway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I slept soundly, aside from waking periodically in joy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>:)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It's been a whirlwind since, this is the first time i've had the time to
write.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "tempus sans itc"; font-size: 14.0pt;">He
is a different man, all because of Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I hear worship songs being played on the guitar coming from his room,
see him reading his Bible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I lived to
be 100, there would not be time enough to thank and praise my God for this
transformation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From his lips, prison is
horrible, but he counts it good because it brought him to a relationship with
Christ.</span><span lang="KO" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: KO; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">♥</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: KO; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "tempus sans itc"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: KO;">My heart is
overwhelmed with gratitude, grace, love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There are unbelievable hurdles ahead, financially and otherwise, but the
Lord has promised to provide, so one day at a time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tempus sans itc"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: KO;">And then
there's my love, my sweet husband who once again brought me to tears the other
night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Josh was asleep, and I thanked
him for all he's done and is doing to help him, he said, "of course, he's
my kid too."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love this man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dave can seem grumpy at times, and is at times, but
his heart never wavers, full of love and self-sacrifice for those he
loves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He and Josh went to the men's
event last night which was helping a local business move some stuff, how
wonderful.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "tempus sans itc"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: KO;">Well, I could
go on and on, and probably will, but enough for now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My heart is full to overflowing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will simply enjoy the blessings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hopefully Autumn and the kids will be here
for Thanksgiving.....won't that be wonderful!!!!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "tempus sans itc"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: KO;">If you know me,
you know the amount of miracles i've experienced, and i'm nobody, truly, what a
God we serve and love who loves us so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Once again, I haven't words to say what this all means.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One day I will see Him face to face and i'm
sure we'll smile at the knowing.</span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-20085819617050534492015-10-31T10:40:00.001-07:002015-10-31T10:42:09.354-07:00Whispers in the Silence<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">What whisperings of new beginnings can you hear emerging from
the silence of darkness?</span></i></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">This
is the question attached to my daily Abbey of the Arts email today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is pregnant with possibilities.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">We
enter into this Autumn awaiting a prodigal's return.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is coming home a new creature in
Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But as everyone knows, it takes
time for reformation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seldom does the
Lord transform us all at once.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And David
and I are here to witness whatever comes, to partner in it really.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
read what I can about the difficulties in returning to society after prison and
it can be scary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thankfully, Josh
doesn't seem overly institutionalized.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He has fought against it, and I think that will help him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is excited...and a little scared...to get
out and begin this new life with all the demands and expectations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the past, he's not done well with
those.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But perhaps this new man will
take them on and succeed, that is my prayer.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">So
my whisperings from the silence of darkness are that the Lord loves Josh, He
loves us, He will make a way like He always does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Josh truly belongs to Him now and wants to
serve Him, so he now is held in loving, able hands.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">It's
been a rough week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We needed the
landlord's approval for him to stay here and the landlord wanted to think about
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Time marched on, yesterday we took a
letter and rental ap with Josh's information and as we talked....he signed the
letter right then!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I must admit, and I
hate it, I was pretty much a basket case.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There aren't enough words or pages to hold what has been in my heart
since Josh went in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not sure I even
understand it all myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But to turn him
out in the cold, with nowhere to go....and no, they don't tell the inmates
where to go, they simply release them and expect them to show up at the
Corrections Officer's office on time, was more than I felt I could bear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So
my mama's heart was breaking at the thought of all this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Many
pitfalls lie ahead and we will have to be more patient and loving than we've
ever been with each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's a big
change for my love and I.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are now
used to living by ourselves and not having anyone else to consider.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We won't have the privacy we've had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And Dave has been absolutely wonderful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was in such bad shape yesterday, he came
home early to be with me until we could go to the landlord's.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He and Josh have had run-ins, though they
generally get along well, but that's always in the back of my mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But this man, whose blood children are
independent and self-sufficient, has had to be drawn into this drama of a
confused and at the time, arrogant, young man who wound up in prison.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Never once has he made me feel that he resented
it, and now he is opening our home to him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">The
thing that I am not proud of, disappointed in myself actually, is the lack of
faith I had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that the Lord could
have a reason for wanting him in Corvallis, but all I could think of was how
much better off it seemed for him to be with us and I let it get the better of
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are Christian women I admire,
who seem to pass through crises fairly unruffled and full of faith.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is my goal, but at 61, not there
yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then again, aside from faith
that grows by hearing the Word of God, I am how He made me, those other women
are how He made them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just struggle
with this, have all my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want
never to disappoint the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How
grateful I am for His love, mercy and grace.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">So
my darkness whispers to me that perhaps this will go better than we think,
perhaps He will continue to make ways where there seem to be none, perhaps this
scary, hard thing will turn out to be the sweet, healing thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only He knows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I, at least, am able to trust Him for what
lies ahead today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are some other
challenges, and who knows, I won't really believe all this until Josh walks
through the front door, so many hoops to jump through, but it is true that God
is good, and Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.</span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-10423944269913474612015-10-17T12:51:00.004-07:002015-10-17T12:51:48.565-07:00DROPS OF PRAISE....OR...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
had intended this to be a completely different slant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was in prayer and as anyone who's walked
with the Lord very long knows, tears often are a part of praise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was thinking they are drops of praise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That each one holds the gratitude of a heart
that had just about given up hope....but God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And when words cannot accurately convey what is in the heart, tears,
just tears to a God who understands and keeps those tears in a bottle.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">But
almost as soon as I was thinking about that, something took place that made me
want to change, and acknowledge that most of the time tears are for when words
won't do for sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Words weren't made to
express the broken heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When one is so
completely misunderstood by one so dearly loved.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">My
son called and what he proceeded to say so hurt that I could not continue the
phone call.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was calm and not on a
rant, but explaining some things he took issue with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And "those" kinds of tears
fell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are teeming with pain and
disbelief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">What
I am coming to realize that midst the process of aging with a disease I can't
get a handle on, weariness from a 7-year wilderness journey, but the love of
precious family and friends, and a man that so blesses me every single day, i'm
getting off that train.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Disembarking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I no longer have
the strength to do battle over imaginings and the past.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I go forward now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is no reverse on this car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>;)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">But
when I come before my first Love, wounds are tended and hearts made full
because He paid the price for all our imperfections and bad choices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I come away having wept out praise once
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is in control and one very
important difference now, He is in control of my boy's life too.</span><span lang="KO" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: KO; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">♥</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: KO; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: KO; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">So
though there be set-backs here and there, the path he is on is straight,
finally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing but tears of praise for
that!</span><span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: KO;"></span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-82156743204988561832015-09-22T11:22:00.000-07:002015-09-22T11:22:11.674-07:00Embers<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
am so enjoying the sights and smells of one of my two favorite seasons!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love Fall, it is the prelude, mysterious
and adorned in radiant color.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then
follows Winter, quiet, serene, crystal cold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Time to be cozy indoors and contemplative.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
noticed this morning when I blew out my Pumpkin Pie candle that the embers
glowed for some time on the wicks, I blew gently and I would've sworn the fire
would revive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But of course, if I blew
it out and left it, all would be cold soon.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">It
got me to thinking of sin like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Often times I get rid of it, but it only takes a slight re-visiting
before it is ablaze again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems so
many battles are fought in the mind before they come to fruition in our
lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I take every thought captive,
then nothing can get even the slightest grip to grow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I don't always do that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can rationalize or make excuses and before
I know it, I am back, at the foot of the cross asking for forgiveness, mercy
and grace....and I always receive it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Christ
is not like us, He does not make me re-hash it, rub it in that He told me so in
His Word, He simply sees my repentant heart and forgives and then strengthens
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The enemy would have me believe that
He won't take me back, He won't forgive me that quick, if at all, he tells me I
am not worthy of such love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I know
better, I stake my life on it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
am so thankful for a Savior who saves again and again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Saves me from sin, from myself and from
others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I stumble, He is faithful
to catch me, when I knowingly wander, He disciplines and brings me back and
loves me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyday grace is what keeps
me, I cannot thank Him enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My motto
is "I'm so glad He knows my heart."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He knows when I am fooling myself, He knows when motives were
misunderstood, He knows just how deep that hurt was, and He knows when I have
been quick to judge and be unloving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
comes to me, ministers to me and is all I need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yes, Eucharisteo in all things.</span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-35388130970731674672015-09-05T09:28:00.001-07:002015-09-05T09:28:57.345-07:00Refugees<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Like
so many, my heart broke over this little refugee who lost his life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it drew my attention to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">all</i> these refugees, looking for
somewhere to just "be."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of
the clich'ed feelings come into play, gratitude for living in America,
gratitude for safety and food and shelter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But because Christ lives in me it went beyond that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was urged to really contemplate this and
put myself as best I could imagine, in their shoes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
am grieved over the world's response to this whole scenario.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How does the whole world allow Isis and those
like them to exist?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How can they be so
elusive...I believe if the world united against them, there would be nowhere
they could hide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If such things were in
America on the scale they are elsewhere, we might be more inclined to help.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
don't believe politics and God should be blended together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I don't see this really in any way as a
political issue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I see it as a God
issue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Word says that God is love,
it says that if we give a cup of water to someone in His name, it is the same
as giving it to Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I am praying
that America and Canada will rise up and offer floods of compassionate help to
these refugees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let the Christians and
others be moved to do something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For
those of us without the funds to help, you can sign petitions and raise
awareness.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Bottom
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</span>Most people just want to live in peace, this is not too much to
ask.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I pray to the Lord that He answer
the prayers of His people and intervene.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Meantime, may our hearts remain tender to those struggling just to
survive, including those in the womb.</span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-20118321839729990032015-09-04T11:10:00.000-07:002015-09-04T11:10:58.524-07:00Autumn Thoughts<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">In
the Autumn of my life, things hurt more, bring deeper joy, anger gives way to
the command to love my neighbor and understand that He really meant it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And everyone is my neighbor.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Where
I used to be pretty much silent when I watched friends step off precipices that
were far too dangerous, now I want to snatch them back from the edge so much
that I have found my voice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love them
and I hate to see them suffer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the
same time, there is grace, given to me for issues that are obviously harming
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So hopefully, it is with that same
grace that I speak gently, no criticism intended.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Never-the-less, I am finding that it is not
well-received.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the past I would have
regretted saying anything, but now I cannot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I love them, I truly do speak in love, instead of stinging from
rejection, it just makes me sad.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
do not know why the Lord seems to make us wait for good things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why the 18 years before I met David, my
heart, my home, sharer of my soul?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
were lonely, painful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, David was
very much worth the wait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I only know
when He says wait, I will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having gone
through my first husband leaving me and all the fallout that happened, I was
not going to move until I knew it was of God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I'm so glad I did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's a
fairytale love, sometimes a little fractured, lol, but overall, a dream come
true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There will never be another
man for me, he touches my heart daily, loves me unconditionally, there is
safety and peace in that. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All I would
have missed had I hurried the Lord.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Autumn
is upon us, my co-favorite with Winter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There are some challenges to deal with, some health issues, and Josh's
release.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But those things feel like
footnotes to a season when I am hearing the voice of the One who loves me
best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can feel His presence daily and it
becomes more precious with time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What an
interesting time of life, you're not dead yet, lol, but priorities shift and
change with an eye on the finish line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2
Timothy 4:7 comes to mind often.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sins
become clearer and I can't rush to Him fast enough for forgiveness, ever
receiving His loving grace and mercy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
find my thoughts gravitating to my grandkids more, and their mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A sorrow resides in my heart at not being to
see them much growing up, and even now, even though our situation is better, it
still does not allow us to see them a lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sweet, sweet, gentle little souls that are a delight to be around and
we're missing it!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All I can do is lay
that at the foot of the cross and ask for help to cope with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And their mom, we have had a strained
relationship in the past, I think it's better now, but again, when you don't
see someone, hard for that relationship to deepen and get close.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It hurts my heart that it wasn't able to.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">As
the days grow shorter, the temps are cooling, I find an abiding peace exists in
my heart in spite of all the disappointments and questions and I am
thankful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eucharisteo.</span><span lang="KO" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: KO; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">♥</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-language: KO;"></span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-40535362777190670452015-06-25T08:20:00.001-07:002015-06-25T08:20:20.960-07:00Death<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I look into a face I only knew from a blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I feel so overwhelmed and tired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know we all must die, but I hate it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hate the sickness that lingers until it
finally takes you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Littles left without
a mom, a good & Godly man left without his wife and all that little word
holds....worlds and hearts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm too
mature to rage at it, but I won't go gentle either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Something within me just screams, "This
isn't right!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it's not, He
didn't create us for death, but for life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And yes, it is beyond understanding or adequate gratefulness that we get
to live with Him forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But here, on
this sod, right now, there are people I don't want to leave and don't want them
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am faced with the dilemma of loving a God that did not
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So, i'm just pondering life, death and meaning, etc. this
morning and it's not even 9:00 yet!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>;)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Missing my folks so much,
wishing they were here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The world they
created in our home is no more it seems, in the world I mean.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gone are family dinners at the table in
peace, no TV, phones or anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
security of a stable home is all but vanished, I always knew Mom was home if
something happened or I needed her, and she was fulfilled in that role, as am
I.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And in later years, my kids will also
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Ultimately, I do trust Him and I know His ways are love and
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possibly be that interesting???<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Lord knows I am dust.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>:)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So for today, I will wash dishes, clean the bathroom and the
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covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-42885471585869938552015-05-13T13:01:00.002-07:002015-05-13T13:01:24.406-07:00He Walks In<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">He walks in<br /> My mama-heart pounding in anticipation<br /> Surrounded by guards, metal tables and chairs<br /> All I see is his face, his countenance<br /> All at once, everything is okay<span class="text_exposed_show"><br /> My son, my son, sacred words to my heart and mind<br /> As he walks to me, the years whiz by<br /> Scraped knees bandaged and kissed<br /> Laughter at silliness and funny movies<br /> Homework on the dining table<br /> Little boy dreams and young man's disillusionment<br /> And at his arrival, we hug, heartfelt and long<br /> He's alright, he's alright, he's not hurt, he's in one piece<br /> Release, relief and hope come to fullness in this room<br /> And as we talk and laugh, it's in both our eyes<br /> Anticipation and scary hope for better days ahead<br /> And as I touch his arm, I know I am touching prayers answered<br /> I know I am seeing Him in his eyes and my heart soars<br /> Then we hug again, another goodbye, how I hate them<br /> And I pray again, Lord protect him, keep him safe <br /> And let him know how much I love him...<br /> And that You love him more.</span></span>covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-39813449447257105192015-05-13T12:57:00.002-07:002015-05-13T12:57:52.212-07:00Glory Days Gone<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Where
are the miracles these days?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Are
my prayers shorter, do they lack passion?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I'm
tired, is it sifting through to our exchanges?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Tired
of goodbyes, grandchildren too far away</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Robbed
of their father at his own hands, and hers</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Of
prodigals and saints with grudges</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Tired
of an enemy who has been given an inch</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And
always takes a mile because he's allowed to.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eyes
that are older find it hard to see</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Real
life hitting head-on with what i'd hoped for</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sixty
years gone and i'm still waitin'</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Thinkin'
maybe if I had another 60 years </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And
could do things different...</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">But
I don't.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
have here and now, that is what You promised</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And
to be with me always.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You
love me, You love them</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">That
has to be more than enough.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And
You have gifted me with the best hearts</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">To
share the good, bad and ugly</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">For
all the miracles of yesterday</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
thank You sincerely and still look for Your fingerprints.</span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1626804042804821542.post-2439428115742124822015-04-23T09:09:00.000-07:002015-04-23T09:09:43.118-07:00Real Life<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
was thinking about Facebook and how we can present ourselves almost falsely if
we so choose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How our life can look
bigger, more perfect, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I strive not
to do this, but the thing is, it might appear that way because we don't
normally post all the crap going on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
an effort not to perpetuate negativity, we often leave out the meat of life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
know of so many heart-breaking circumstances happening around me, my heart
weeps continually.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One friend is
suffering through no fault of her own, and suffering mightily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She and her husband offered Dave & I a
place to go, a safe haven from the crushing weight of extended unemployment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are in our hearts forever, and now as I
said, they are suffering greatly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Another friend suddenly lost her husband, another friend is enduring a
very, very, very long time of recuperating from injury and all that is incurred
with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marriages where love is gone or
at the least, strained.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Children in
prison, my own included, children sick, people dying.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Tempus Sans ITC"; font-size: 14.0pt;">So
I do hope that though I choose to try to usually post positive things, it is
not because I have no sorrow happening in my life, or that I have turned a
blind eye.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These things are carried
within my heart, and ever lifted up to the Father for Him to intervene and
aid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But i've lived long enough to know
that in His wisdom, He will do what will bring us closer to Him, not
necessarily, healing, eased discomfort, etc., though He may do those things as
well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And really, when closest to Him,
that is the only place we really want to be<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>"You will show me the path of life: in your presence is fullness of
joy; at your right hand there are pleasures forevermore." ~ Psalm 16:11<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></b></span></div>
covenantwmnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07099143679598031740noreply@blogger.com0