I lit the 4th candle this morning, the Love candle. The Love that came down from Heaven and saved me. Saved me from my sins, from eternal death. But these past few days some things are being brought to remembrance, I believe by the Holy Spirit. Such a sweet calling to remind me of His love and presence in my life.....all my life.
Through either my own wrong choices, or those who sinned against me, there have been a myriad of crises and circumstances that were dire. And in every one, He either delivered, or His grace was sufficient.
A son who so like the Biblical prodigal, has chosen his own way, which eventually led him to prison. Financial challenges since 1989 that are still ongoing. Yet, when all seemed lost, He rescued. Money came from generous family, but often times from unexpected sources.
Now we are faced with a huge medical bill because of the surgery I had. And because we had no steady work for 7 years, we have no resources to pay it. But as I look back at other impossibilities, they were met because of the baby that came in a stable.
That is just the financial. When I thought I would literally die from heartbreak from divorce, He and His Word sustained me. When my son became someone I didn't know, He sustained me. When health threats came, He delivered and sustained.
I am now 60, have two grandchildren and the time has flown. I sit in our "new" home in Vancouver and recollect. I almost want to write the woman my first husband left me for, send her a thank you note. ;) Because in the next room sleeps a man that I love with all my heart. So very different from the first one, I am safe and loved in a way I never thought possible. Our little furry child is by him, content and loved, giving us daily joys.
I confess I have a tendency to see the glass half empty, always have, it's my nature. But i'm not stupid. I also see the blessings, and there are many. The greatest of which is what we celebrate on Christmas. To know Christ is all. To have this relationship with Him, at times I can't even get words out. It's too deep, too precious, words haven't been created to express my gratitude, or His big love....and it comes to me. One so quick to complain, to see the one light out amidst a million that shine bright. But He loves me and loves me enough to continue to care for me and bring me along, even if it's slowly.
Every answer to every heartache, every problem, swaddled in a manger. Amazing. Perfect. Merry, merry Christmas.♥