Thursday, December 5, 2013


Day 4 of Dave having left for WA.  Oh my gosh, to say I miss him is to grace those words with more meaning than they imply.  He indeed is my other half and i'm walking around handicapped.  In practical ways, running errands, taking care of the hound, just generally over-seeing, his solitude-loving wife is forced out and I appreciate anew his taking care of us and allowing me to indulge in solitude.  

But his presence, his physical presence missing, I am finding intolerable.  Naturally, I will get over it to a degree as this becomes the norm for a season.  And God will help me.  But right now he almost seems like a specter, a ghost, not real.  Those that are married know how familiar the "other" is.  The feel of their skin, the smell of it, his gentle breathing in and out beside me in the night.  And for certain moments....moments like this....when I am struggling, hurting, he comes to me, sometimes instinctively, and soothes, comforts, gives hope, takes the sting away.  I miss his dirty renditions of Christmas songs that always make me laugh, the way his eyes sparkle when he's feeling mischievous.  

I truly have never known a man with a kinder heart.  He's got his faults like anybody else, but his tender heart, money-where-his-mouth-is way of being endears him to me.  During this time apart, especially, I think back to when we first met and what impressed me so much about him.  He liked me and accepted me "as is."  Most men wouldn't.  He loved me for me, and always makes me feel beautiful, tells me I am.  

I prayed for 18 years for him.  As i've said, he was well worth the wait.  It was and is a fairytale come true.  I never thought I would ever be in love like this, and as the years have passed, and the hardship, it only grows stronger.  The love, the trust, the passion, the "oneness."

And the very best part, his faith in God.  He has a trust that is child-like and he wants to know more and more of Him.  He leads our home with love and understanding and prays.  So many have abused the "head of the house" thing, I am blessed to say that he "gets it" and my feelings and thoughts are always considered heavily when decisions are being made.  And I have comfort and peace knowing that the final decision rests in his loving hands, just like my heavenly Father.

I know this isn't forever, but tonight, i'm missing the soul closest to my own very much.  Needless to say, Sadie feels the same way.♥  

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