I know I need to write about this, but where to begin. I know it ends at the cross.
Anyone who knows me, knows about my son, Josh and the long, hard road that's been traversed. So many prayers for so many years, at last answered in his salvation.
I have been able to see him twice this week, now he will move on about an hour away. But I no longer look into the old Josh's hurt and angry eyes, instead they are peaceful, loving and hold some shame.
He knows there is so much required of him once released from prison, but I keep assuring him that God knows and nothing is impossible with God. He worries how much he'll get to be in his children's lives....that one I get, went through it myself with him and his sister. I know that pain and it can get you if you're not careful. I know God will help him and be with him when he can't be with them, just like He was for me.
I look across the gray metal table in stark surroundings, and this was a HUGE improvement from the last place, and see a life transformed, a hunger for the pure and righteousness of God. But in my humanity and knowing my son, I do worry about the future, when I know it will get beyond him, fines, classes, a job, etc., will he forget about this in the struggle, or will he be wise and cling even tighter? I am praying now about those times.
For now, I will simply bask in this moment of answered prayer and a redeemed life. He really should write a book, my gosh, it could certainly be a cautionary tale. He has gone so long his own way, we must rely on the Lord's grace, mercy and miracle-working power to turn things all the way round. All that said, he has hope now, something he didn't have before. He has Christ now and it shows.
So I take every single issue, and there are so many, and pile them up at the foot of the cross and trust my Savior to move yet again....and again. Love does that, in a mother's heart, and unfathomably in our God's.