The pull and push of every day events can sometimes make me feel as if i'm being pulled apart. This morning I decided. I decided that I would just draw close to the One who knows me best and just rest there for a while. Not for an hour, a day, but for some time to come....perhaps forever. We have too many personalities in our home these days. It seems someone is not happy about something every day. Not an angry, fighting unhappiness, just a quiet, disgruntled unhappiness. And me, wife and mother and grandma, wants to fix it all, knowing in my heart that I can't. So this morning, when used as a sounding board yet again, and perceived as a stone-thrower, I just decided. I will rest my soul in the presence of the Lord. He will take me in, while I love and serve and do my best. He will tell me that is enough and give me rest.
Something shifted inside me this morning. It does no good for me to attempt to explain to those that either won't understand, or won't accept what i'm saying, so why say it. I love all concerned and i'll just continue with that in the forefront of my mind and my heart. In a sense it's that "take care of you" thing. I love my family, I want the best for my family and i'm doing what I perceive as my best to contribute to that. It is no longer up for debate, i'm just gonna be looking up as best I can from here into eternity. There is no darkness in Him, He is safe, always, all the time. I will simply fall into Jesus and operate from there. I surrender all.